• A liking for sadistic or sarcastic humor
• Over Cheerfulness
• Procrastination
• Boredom
• Depression
• Chronically stiff neck or shoulder muscles

If so, you may be angry but be hiding it from yourself. These can be signs of disguised anger. If that seems to be true of you, then recognize and acknowledge that you are angry. Anger is not a sign of emotional problems. If we listen to it, it can tell us what we need and provide us with the emotional strength necessary to get it.

After we have acknowledged and accepted our anger, the next step is to identify what we are angry about. Is the anger a secondary reaction to other, more primary feelings, such as hurt or a sense of inadequacy? If so, set the anger aside and work on these feelings. If anger is the basic feeling, then ask yourself, "What is it about this situation that makes me angry?" Try to get to the heart of the issue, because you won't be able to reach resolution if you are dealing with a false issue.

After you have identified the cause of your anger, ask yourself, "What do I want to be different?" Some desires are unrealistic (e.g., that something in the past be changed), and you may need to examine the way you are thinking about the situation. Often, however, your desires will be legitimate and realistic. The next step will be to take action based on the need being announced by your anger. For instance, if you are angry that you are not being sufficiently appreciated, then you will take action designed to increase the amount of appreciation you receive. Many times, this will involve expressing your anger, so here are some guidelines:  

• Attack the problem or the issue, not the person.
• Do not attack, name-call, or put the other person down.
• Stick to the present issue; don't dredge up past events.
• Take responsibility for your feelings, don't blame or point fingers.
• Listen carefully to each other.
• Do it to improve the relationship, not to hurt or punish the other person.