Dealing
with Death, Grief, and Loss
Some Facts about Grief and Loss:
• Grief is a normal response to loss; loss is an inevitable
part of being human.
• Each person's grief is unique.
• Loss brings varied emotions.
• Grieving takes time and hard work.
• Losses are not “replaceable.”
• Incomplete grief work can impair a person’s functioning.
The following are some of the characteristics of the mourning
process (these characteristics often overlap):
SHOCK AND NUMBNESS (48 hours to 2
weeks after the loss)
• Resists input
• Judgment-making difficult, concentration limited
• Functioning impeded (zombie- or robot-like behavior)
• Emotional outbursts
• Stunned feelings
SEARCHING AND YEARNING (2 weeks to
4 months)
• Very sensitive to stimuli
• Anger or guilt feelings
• Restless and impatient
• Feeling uncertain
• Testing what is real
DISORIENTATION (4 to 7 months)
• Disorganized
• Depressed
• Feelings of guilt
• Weight loss or gain
• Aware of reality
• Very aware of consequences
• Psychosomatic symptoms (colds, etc.)
• Temptation to see mourning as a disease
• Noncompliance with others’ expectations
• Attempt to live as if nothing happened
• Attempt to flee setting of loss
DISCOVERY AND REORGANIZATION (18-24
months)
• Sense of release (no longer obsessed by loss)
• Renewed energy
• Judgments come easier
• Stable sleeping and eating habits return
Being able to successfully cope with a loss is a very difficult
process, which cannot be done alone. Successful grief
work requires acknowledging the pain of your loss, avoiding
the use of alcohol or other drugs to help you cope, and having
a strong support network. If you have experienced a loss
and are feeling alone or are concerned with your reaction to
that loss, professionals at the Student Counseling Services can help. |
